Sigh...Anyways

2002-11-21T12:31:00.000-05:00

YELLOW

You are very perceptive and smart. You are clear and to the point and have a great sense of humor. You are always learning and searching for understanding.

Find out your color at Stvlive.com!

2002-10-01T01:42:00.000-04:00

**please excuse thebad spacebar crap. i'minthe computerlaband thiskeyboard sucks**

so yeah...my weekend was interesting
friday night: go tobyron's houseand chill. meetkrasi'sbulgarian friends from atlantaat 3:30 am
saturday: wakeup latefor open house,forgetwhere itis, getthere,find outthat wedon't haveabooth set up. feel naseaus
get home, takea napcause i'msocranky, eventually leave to gotoa realcity--winston salem. goshopping with kevin, brandon,and laura. buy new clothes,spendtoo much moola.
gotodinner, get foodpoisoning, gotoclub oddessy, dancefor 5minutes,feelsickfor 2 hours. go towaffle house--alwaysaninteresting experience. finally gethome,crash.
sunday: drivehomewith brandon and kevin. get pulled over. geta ticket.
gethome, goto work late, workfor 5 hours.
gethome, takea nap.
watchthesunday night sexshow.
use my abroller.
fall................roommate, 2RAs, 2 asu police officers, 2 paramedics, 2callsto mom anddad (anda partridge in apear tree).
monday: oneclass, infrimary, nap,food,nap, food, homework, here...

yes, it's interestingand exciting being lindsay johnson :-)

2002-09-11T15:52:00.000-04:00

so yeah. today is one year later.

12:58pm
So Yeah...
Tuesday, September 11, 2001, 9:25am, Sandford Hall room 507, Appalachian State University
--...they think it was a terrorist attack...
--Sarah, what are you saying about terrorists?
--Two planes just crashed into the World Trade Center. There's a huge hole like 20 stories tall.
--Oh my gosh!
--...

9:35am
--Students, the world has changed as we know it. The World Trade Center, the Pentagon...We will probably bomb someone before the day is over. Your generation has not yet lived through a major war, this might be it. ...

The Plemmons Student Union:
Chairs are set up in front of any television, volume is turned up, no one wants to change the channel from CNN. Grandfather Mountain Ballroom is being set up with tables and chairs, the large screen projectors are lowered, students, professors, staff members trickle in and sit down to watch this happen. People are either silent or are telling each other what's been happening.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The United States of America has a Zero Tolerance Policy regarding terrorists and terrorist attacks. Since we don't believe that this is a domestic attack, then it must be a terrorist attack. Therefore, the USA government will probably declare war on someone, it will probably bomb someone, it will probably kill someone--innocent bystanders and the terrorists. More loss of life, more grief, more hatred, more, more, more...
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

12:53pm
The Taliban news conference via videophone and a bad translator.

1:10:pm
So Yeah...I woke up this morning at 8:45am EDT to the most beautiful blue skies, light breeze, sunny day; I felt good. Manhatten at 8:45am EDT woke up to hell.

9:49pm
So Yeah...but Jonny, you are doing something by staying in Buffalo. You're staying out of hell, out of rescue workers ways, you are doing a lot. Give blood...even if you pass out from giving, still give. It is eminent now.

Today I don't know what to say. I am still scared. I am not ashamed or afraid to say that. I worry that something is going to happen, especially if the USA bombs Iraq in a preemptive strike. I don't know what to think aobut that...I don't think that we should bomb anyone, but I guess that the government (who is supposed to represent the American people) don't agree with me.

Probably the worst memory of September 11, 2001 is driving home with my sister and her fiancé at the time (they got married this summer), crying. We drove home to find out when Mom and Dad's flight from San Diego was supposed to leave. Actually I thought that they were flying out of Los Angeles airport, which one of the flights that day was flying to. Luckily, they weren't supposed to fly home to Boone until September 12th, but then their flight was delayed until Saturday night, and they got home Sunday. I don't know if I can describe the sense of dread, loss, sadness, hurt, frustration, and, most of all, family, that I felt one year ago; and then again on Sunday when I got to see them.
In another journal, a paper/online private journal that I sometimes write in, I wrote something interesting (at least to me):
Sunday, September 9, 2001, 12:05am
I went home this weekend...or rather last night. Once I got inside, upstairs (I forgot my keys), a total sense of relief and happiness swept over me. I was home. No one was near me, asking me for something, or just generally bugging me. All my stress left. Mom and Dad are in San Diego for the weekend as an anniversary thing. So I told them that I'd come home Saturday night. It was wonderful. I didn't have to worry about anything. I wanted to write in my journal or on here, but I told myself that I wasn't going to turn on the computer...the tv, yes, but the computer, no. Once again, this break is what I needed. I don't think that this is healthy...needing a break every week or so. I mean, most people don't have to retreat from society to keep functioning for another week. Ack! Oh well...

And that is two of my personal stories from last year,

**Everyone is wearing their I Love NY shirts today, and since I don't have one, I am using my I Love NY shot glass. ;-}

2002-09-11T15:28:00.000-04:00

so yeah...some of you have been asking what the previous entry was about...don't worry about it...i was just spouting off after lunch one day. why don't you download or read the lyrics to ani difranco's song and then you might figure it out. but if not, that's cool. it's just another ranting about the life that i'm living. nothing to worry about.

2002-09-04T13:41:00.000-04:00

so yeah...before it was them, and now it's her...damnit...and i have to be an adult about this...fuck you and your untouchable face...

2002-08-23T20:52:00.000-04:00

so yeah...i'm sitting here while charlie, the bestest person, is massaging my tired neck. he thinks he's cool cause he graduated and doesn't have to live in coffey now, but i 'm not so sure.

2002-08-20T22:52:00.000-04:00

So Yeah...I'm nostalgic for a time that's gone. Listening to a new cd, all the songs are new...it's rem's out of time, but i've only heard two of the songs. this is really cool. i'm talking to david online. i'm not sure what's going on. i'm so excited to be moving back into coffey. i remember how it was the first time i moved in there. i was so scared and worried. but so extrememly excited about it. why can't things be that simple again?

yeah, i'm goign to go to bed soon...today was the last day of my summer.

2002-08-18T12:19:00.000-04:00

So Yeah...I have 3 more hours of work at the High Country Host! Yes, today is my last day. I really do enjoy working here, I like the people, the customers, the information, the free time to fart around on the computer all day. But in 15 weekends since school got out until now when I have to move in on Wednesday, I have only had 3 weekends off--for 3 weddings. It's a gorgeous Sunday afternoon. I don't want to be in here typing away on here, listening to u2, I want to be out somewhere, even if that means sleeping in--what a concept!!! Sure I probably wouldn't be doing anything of significance at home, so it is fortunate that I could do nothing and get paid for it here, but I still want my weekends. I think i wouldn't hate this so bad if I didn't have to work every weekend. By the time I get out of work, I'm too tired to do anything or to go to any of the concerts, plays, or hiking trails that I have just told 100 other people about.

This has been a long summer...because the school decided to include our exam days in the number of days that we should attend class. That would be nice except for the fact that my professors don't have enough time to teach everything that they want to get done. Sure we don't have standardized tests in college to prepare for, but students are in college to learn, and to get the most education for their money. I don't agree with this exam day ruling. I think that it was better before, when we started mid-August and got out mid-December. Now we're starting just 4 days before Labor Day weekend, and we are getting out mid-December. I don't know. Personally, as I learn more and more each semester I realize how ignorant and stupid we all are. I just read this 13 page article: The Free Trade Fix, and tried my hardest to understand it, but I couldn't. I have been in college for two years now and I can't understand everything that they are talking about. Most of my knowledge on Free Trade, NAFTA, IMF, and the World Bank is from an hour and a half session at a conference over spring break. That is pathetic. Why haven't I learned any of this in my classes here at the university??

2002-08-17T14:13:00.000-04:00

So Yeah...DVDs that I would love to own (in no particular order)...
almost famous
mary poppins
pollyanna
fear and loathing in las vegas
the breakfast club
dumbo
gone with the wind

2002-08-15T23:44:00.000-04:00

Stupid Men

sitting here listening to dancing queen, nightswimming, and tiny dancer. reflecting on the summer. relaxing after work. getting more and more contemplative and depressed. glad it's grey and raining out there. wishing i hadn't said things. that i hadn't invited people to certain events. wishing i had said somthing when i still had the chance. don't know if i should say anything now.

why do all these good songs remind me of past boyfriends? why are these songs ruined forever now?

never, never, never eye-flirt with anyone unless you mean it.

2002-07-30T08:30:00.000-04:00

So Yeah...Two very sad articles in today's New York Times...
Some Advice For "Rent" From A Friend...about the Broadway musical "Rent", its lyrics, and its popular appeal.
In Argentina, the Arts Struggle to Survive a Depression...about the declining economy's impact on the Teatro Colon, which is the century-old opera house and museum in Buenos Aires.

2002-07-26T22:15:00.000-04:00

So Yeah...Two days until my birthday, and for the second time in three years I've been dumped right before my birthday with the comment that "well, I didn't want to do it before your birthday because I knew it would ruin it, but...". Yes, thank you Nick and Joe. Friends? I don't know right now.

Think I'm going for a walk now.
Feel little unsteady.
Don't want nobody to follow me
Except maybe you....

2002-05-27T00:39:00.000-04:00

So Yeah...I am the happiest I have been in such a long time. I have the most wonderful boyfriend ever. Joe Abbey is...so great. That's all I can say.

2002-04-29T02:27:00.000-04:00

So Yeah...I know it has been a while since I've been on here, but...yeah...I've been so busy this semester. I haven't really felt like writing, and I still don't. Oh well. I'm doing alright. It's almost the end of this semester. I want it to be over just to get out of school, but I really don't. I am having a great time. Just chilling with all my friends...doing nothing that I'm supposed to be doing. I've been doing a lot of thinking lately too. Just about life and the world. Drop me a line if you want to know more. Well, that's about all that I feel like churning out tonight.

2002-04-28T12:48:00.000-04:00

Take the Which Star Wars Hero are You? Quiz!

...created by Kenzie.

2002-04-26T18:47:00.000-04:00

src="http://test3.thespark.com/childtest/award/cpsd.gif"
border=1>

2002-03-23T22:10:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...Wow. I am so mad! People (aka the government at the moment) are so incredibly studid. Did you know that the "Pentagon’s Office of Strategic Influence is “developing plans to provide news items, possibly even false ones, to foreign media organizations” in an effort “to influence public sentiment and policy makers in both friendly and unfriendly countries.” (I got that here, and it was also reported in the New York Times) What the freaking hell?? Did you know that/ No, I'm sure is your answer, because the media does not tell us these things! All of the major news sources on TV, newspaper and on the internet to some extent is controlled by 6 people! And now the government is getting into it! "According to the New York Times, “one of the military units assigned to carry out the policies of the Office of Strategic Influence” is the U.S. Army’s Psychological Operations Command (PSYOPS)." Does that scare anyone else besides me?? And then in conclusion: "Taken together, these incidents and policies should raise alarm bells for media throughout the country. Democracy doesn’t work if the public does not have access to full and accurate information about its government."

2002-03-19T16:27:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...
Me
You

2002-03-19T11:12:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...It's been a while. I know. I just haven't had any motivation to talk. It's not that i don't have anything to say or the time to say it (last week was spring break), but...yeah...

Sigh...Anyways...one of my best friends left last night. he'll be back next fall, but still. my favorite cat was put to sleep last night. he was in pain, but still.

Fast Car

2002-03-04T23:09:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...Is this me? Maybe...

Which Rainbow Brite kid are you? By Growing.

2002-03-04T22:45:00.000-05:00

"I look around and see everything crumbling. I try to save it all but find that I cannot."

In my mind I'm goin' to California
Can't you see the sunshine
Can't you just feel the moonshine
Maybe just like a friend of mine
It hit me from behind
Yes I'm goin' to California in my mind

Karin she's a silver sun
You best walk her way and watch it shinin'
Watch her watch the mornin' come
A silver tear appearing now I'm cryin'
Ain't I goin' to California in my mind

There ain't no doubt it no ones mind
That loves the finest thing around
Whisper something soft and kind
And hey babe the sky's on fire, I'm dyin'
Ain't I goin' to California in my mind

In my mind I'm goin' to California
Can't you see the sunshine
Can't you just feel the moonshine
Maybe just like a friend of mine
It hit me from behind
Yes I'm goin' to California in my mind

Dark and silent last last night
I think I might have heard the highway calling
Geese in flight and dogs that bite
Signs that might be omens say I going, going
I'm goin' to California in my mind

With a holy host of others standing 'round me
Still I'm on the dark side of the moon
And it seems like it goes on like this forever
You must forgive me
If I'm up and gone to California in my mind

In my mind I'm goin' to California
Can't you see the sunshine
Can't you just feel the moonshine
Maybe just like a friend of mine
It hit me from behind
Yes I'm goin' to California in my mind

Do You Want To Go On A Road Trip?

2002-03-04T22:13:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...Why do all the good guys have to be taken or gay? I mean really! Where are those wonderful man that I should meet...the ones that can dress nicely, dance, act polite, be honest, and generally sweep me off my feet? Sure, I've got my entire life ahead of me, but what does that really mean? I could die tomorrow. I could be hit by a car and be paralyzed like in "An Affair to Remember".
What's with the guy who's married and has a daughter but still kinda hits on women? ARG! I'm still going to dance with him at the contra dance on Saturday.

2002-03-04T00:14:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...Kill the Taco Bell Chihuahua

2002-03-03T23:45:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...I'm looking through all my old emails rereading them and then deleting most of them, but some are just too funny to keep to myself. So instead of forwarding them to a few people because I know that everyone hates that, I'm just going to put them on here...

College Dorms Message:
The inventor of dormitories . . . let's find him, make him pay for the
travesties he's visited on America's youth, and force him to listen to
Matchbox 20. Can't you see him designing these hellish stacks of
humanity many years ago? From the sidewalk he raised his hands
triumphantly and said, "It shall be like the projects with less violence
and more marijuana!" He then took lumber and Elmer's Paste, as it is
often called, to create these pet carrier sized rooms that we live in.
You wanna know why people from the projects hardly ever go to college?
It's because they don't want to leave their lush surroundings. The
actual term dormitory is of course derived from the Latin term for
sleep, which is appropriate because that is all you have space to do.
You have to do it standing up in the bathroom sink but it can be done.
The luckier students have space to scratch their asses but the windows
have to be open and their roommates have to be gone for the weekend.
When you go home the closets even feel like a gymnasium, and you can
romp around in the bathroom like a horny antelope. I can't imagine the
kids who brought everything they own to the dorm. I brought like a
condom and a sock.Next semester I hope to have a towel and the other
sock. I also need a new condom. Forget having space to sleep. Who sleeps
anyway? Nobody on my campus. I think it's a rule. This one kid tried but
no one knows what happened to him. Let's just say his floor mates never
saw him awake again. I feel like I'm a member of the national insomnia
coalition. 0ur agenda involves a lot of Frappacino and staring at the
test pattern on tv. It's like this strange pseudo vampire lifestyle. Did
you know that if you stay up late enough they play the Tonight Show over
again and it still isn't funny? No sleep really fucks with your eating
habits too.Every night at 2 in the morning you get as hungry as a
Bosnian and you have to go to the vending machine to watch the one bagel
spin in the carousel of salmonella. People have White Zombie playing
until 5 AM, which to me really encompasses my mood at 5 AM. I could be
listening to Kenny G and it would seem hardcore at 5 in the morning. It
doesn't matter because you still can't get an open clothes drier minutes
before sunrise. There's like this one chick who's always tying up an
entire drier with like one pair of panties. I let it slide because it
gives me an opportunity to watch hypnotically tumbling panties. The
worst is when she turns out to be morbidly obese and you have to vomit
in your laundry basket. Not that the dryers work anyway. I could fart on
my laundry and get it drier than the converted toaster ovens that the
university supplies. Dry jeans? Forget about it. I had to convert mine
to a deep-sea wet suit. So what if you want to leave the dorm? Get ready
for a chore. You'll need keys, ID, bag, books, a map, an
umbrella,sunglasses, insulin, a snake bite kit,mace, a pack mule, and an
Algonquin Indian translator (Miami students you know what that's all
about). Then you have to go walking through the building kissing the
asses of all the dweebs you live with and holding the door for anyone in
the same county. What's with the door holding policy? Like opening a
door requires spotter. If you've got arms, a coordinated foot,or useful
nub, open your own God damn door. No matter where you go you have to use
these gerbil-on-a-wheel elevators. I could climb up the side of the
building with a corpse tied to my johnson in less time than it takes for
the door to close. Then you have to fucking march for miles from your
dorm which is conveniently placed on the fucking opposite side of the
campus from any building that is fucking remotely important. People on
roller blades I accept, people on bikes I have urges to clothesline but
tolerate, but people on skateboards have a value just below medically
retarded nazis. It must be explained to them that skateboards were cool
when we were 11 and even then they weren't that cool. Where are you
headed? Probably to get something to eat at the dining hall. The only
dish they haven't fucked up is Lucky Charms. I think the university
supplies them with a blender and unlimited horse meat mixed with some
retired circus animals. The key to making the menu fresh and exciting is
the food coloring. The charming and buck-toothed lunch ladies who have
more facial hair than your father ever will proudly announce, "Yesterday
we had chicken nuggets and today we present to you blue chicken chunks
that are totally unrelated to the nugget dish we served you just
yesterday. We are serious, they have nothing to do with each other. I
stake my hair net on it. You can have extra blue in yours.." And the
ladies (who really seem to love living in the exciting scooping career)
refuse to serve more than what fits on a toothpick. You can't just ask
for a large portion, you have to ask for "more than the offensive line
could consume this semester." Then you get a second blue nugget.
Remember how excited the potato bar got you the first week? Now the
potato bar makes you homicidal. (What are bacon flavored bits made
of?)Then you get to come home to your room. Mine is called a suite,which
is a pretty cruel manipulation of the English language. I get to spend
time with the closet case that the boarding office apparently found
compatible with me. He's like Chewbacca's considerably less attractive
estranged midget cousin. A wookie also has better control of the English
language. My roommate is another rant all together. Most people get one
of two kinds of roommates, the one who sharpen knives while he watches
you sleep (mine), and the one who asks you what it's like to go outside
(also mine). My suitemates next door live an intensely Rastafarian
lifestyle. In an attempt to put Cheech and Chong to shame, their bong is
a centerpiece of the room that they clean with wadded textbook pages.
They smoke to Bob Marley at 5 AM on Wednesday nights which is a little
too hardcore but you have to love their dedication to the sport. End
your dorm day by hopping in the shower. It's as big as a tupperware
container. It has 3 temperatures, fucking hot, really fucking hot, and
nuclear. Whenever somebody flushes a toilet on the campus the
temperature goes to skin removal levels and I go blind for a few
minutes. I swear it is connected to every toilet. My brother flushed the
toilet at home last week and I called him to tell him to be a little
more considerate. The bathroom is as clean as any fast food restaurant
urinal cake and after the average college student pressure washes the
shitter with a bottle of Vodka it's as clean as any bus station. I've
given up on cleaning in the bathroom and I'm disinfecting myself. A
quick spray down with Lysol Direct and my body is fresh and repellent to
several bacteria. Bottom line. Turn up the music and try to get high off
the fumes coming from under the bathroom door because they never share.
The "best days of our life" will be over soon.

Good Friends
In kindergarten your idea of a good friend was the person who let you have the red crayon when all that was left was the ugly black one.

In first grade your idea of a good friend was the person who went to the bathroom with you and held your hand as you> >>walked through the scary halls.

In second grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you stand up to the class bully.

In third grade your idea of a good friend was the person who shared their lunch with you when you forgot yours on the bus.

In fourth grade your idea of a good friend as the person who was willing to switch square dancing partners in gym so you wouldn't have to be stuck do-si-do-ing with Nasty Nick or Smelly Susan.

In fifth grade your idea of a friend was the person who saved a seat on the back of the bus for you.

In sixth grade your idea of a friend was the person who went up to Nicky or Susan,
your new crush, and asked them to dance with you, so that if they said no you wouldn't have to be embarrassed.

In seventh grade your idea of a friend was the person who let you copy the social studies homework from the night before that you had.

In eighth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pack up your stuffed animals and old baseball but didn't laugh at you when you finished and broke out into tears.

In ninth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who would go to a party thrown
by a senior so you wouldn't wind up being the only freshman there.

In tenth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who changed their schedule so you would have someone to sit with at lunch.

In eleventh grade your idea of a good friend was the person who gave you rides in their new car, convinced your parents that you shouldn't be grounded, consoled you when you broke up with Nick or Susan, and found you a date to the prom.

In twelfth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you pick out a college/university, assured you that you would get into that college/university, helped you deal with your parents who were having a hard time adjusting to the idea of letting you go.
At graduation your idea of a good friend was the person who was crying on the inside but managed the biggest smile one could give as they congratulated you.

The summer after twelfth grade your idea of a good friend was the person who helped you clean up the bottles from that party, helped you sneak out of the house when you just couldn't deal with your parents, assured you that now that you and Nick or you and Susan were back together, you could make it through anything, helped you pack up for university and just silently hugged you as you looked through blurry eyes at 18 years of memories you were leaving behind, and finally on those last days of childhood, went out of their way to give you reassurance that you would make it in college as well as you had these past 18 years, and most importantly sent you off to college knowing you were loved.

Now, your idea of a good friend is still the person who gives you the better of the two choices, holds your hand when you're scared, helps you fight off those who try to take advantage of you, thinks of you at times when you are not there, reminds you of what you have forgotten, helps you put the past behind you but understands when you need to hold on to it a little longer, stays with you so that you have confidence, goes out of their way to make time for you, helps you clear up your mistakes, helps you deal with pressure
from others, smiles for you when they are sad, helps you become a better person, and most importantly loves you!

Remember always to say what you mean.
Never be afraid to express yourself.
Take this opportunity to tell someone what they mean to you.
Seize the day and have no regrets.
Most importantly, stay close to your friends and family, for they have helped make you
the person that you are today and are what it's all about anyway.

2002-03-03T21:44:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...I'm back...for now.

Good Riddancee (Time of Your Life)
Another turning point, a fork stuck in the road.
Time grabs you by the wrist, directs you where to go.
So make the best of this test, and don't ask why.
It's not a question, but a lesson learned in time.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

So take the photographs, and still frames in your mind.
Hang it on a shelf in good health and good time.
Tattoos of memories and dead skin on trial.
For what it's worth, it was worth all the while.
It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

It's something unpredictable, but in the end is right.
I hope you had the time of your life.

2002-02-25T21:54:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...Lot is going on...I won't be on here much for a while...not sure when i'll be back...call me if you want...266-6574. lindsay

2002-02-21T13:39:00.000-05:00

BLUE

You give your love and friendship unconditionaly. You enjoy long, thoughful conversations rich in philosophy and spirituality. You are very loyal and intuitive.

Find out your color at Stvlive.com!

2002-02-20T10:29:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...Wow...All courtsey of The Fark...

Read the description.
I Couldn't Do That...
It's like "Feed the Birds" from Mary Poppins...in a different way.
Dumbass
Attack of the Killer Sheep!!

2002-02-19T16:04:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...I got the last loaf of garlic cheddar bread and a spinach-cheddar scone today at Stick Boy Bread Company!! Yes, life is better now. Have a good one.

2002-02-19T00:23:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...What a shitty-ass day this has become. I actually went to my 4 classes today with all the homework completed. I went to my meeting, prepared of course. That was about all of the good part of the day.

Sigh...Anyways...I called Mom and Dad tonight. Dad told me that my great-aunt Bertha died yesterday. She had been living in a nursing home, but then she got pneumonia and they moved her into the hospital where she died with my great-uncle Alva and their son by her side. She died in her sleep.

My roommate's moving onto the Phi Mu hall next year. I have to find a roommate now. ok...I can make the best of this.

I wan to live in an apartment this summer. My house where my family lives is like 7 minutes away. I want to get an apartment. I haven't told my parents this yet.

My happy thought this week in my meeting was that this is the beginning of a new week. I didn't think that I would have all this shit and more going on again this week. I thought that this was the week that I could relax a bit. Oh well.

2002-02-18T19:39:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...I know I haven't posted in a while...I've just been so incredibly busy. If you want to catch up with me, you can either IM me at lndsymj or call me (I don't really want to give out my number on here) or you can snail mail me at ASU Box 10053, Boone, NC 28608. I'd really appreciate it! I"m doing alright this week, but last week wasn't the best...you know...i'm sure that you have those weeks too. But anyway.

2002-02-13T23:35:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...What a tough semester this is. Not just the usual complaints about how hard my classes are...but life is changing so much lately. Too many people I know are sick or dead.

2002-02-10T11:32:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...What a wonderful weekend this is!! giggle giggle giggle...

2002-02-05T15:30:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...Things are going well here. Not much to say, well, actually, lots to say but not enough time to write as usual. I'll see if I can hit the high points...

"Those that attempt to change the world create chaos. Those who realize that they are a part of the world and are interconnected to everything else create an entirely different kind of change. It is a state of being. As one person becomes increasingly intelligent, the world becomes more intelligent. Why do we disassociate the mind of one from the rest of the world? We have the power to change ourselves and little else." Interesting quote from an old acquaintance, David. I'm not sure if I totally agree with him, but I do see that we are interconnected. I think that one person can change the world because of this interconnectivness--
Pay It Forward-The Idea.
Pay It Forward-The Movie.

"Joy of life is to enter into the spiritual intelligence of all species and to share in life's diversity through the unique intelligence of each of its creatures."

"...and thus how the form of cultural intelligence encoded in the language (that thinks individuals as they think and act within the language) may contribute to being stupid."

2002-02-05T15:02:00.000-05:00

From January 31st when Blogger was down...
So Yeah…He said that you seemed to be doing well. That you opened your eyes. But that you had so many visitors this weekend that you got tired and went back to sleep. He said that they don’t know if you will wake up tomorrow or 10 years from now. No.
I just watched ER. It hit way too close to home for me. After it was over, the news blurb said something about a car collision. Damn.

2002-01-29T10:15:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...Things my Mom would be proud of:
*getting up in a pleasant mood
*working out
*blowdrying my hair
*seting up meetings

The list will probably get longer...

2002-01-27T23:35:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...I was just looking through another journal that I have and I found this entry. I think it's kinda interesting.

Sunday, September 9, 2001, 12:05am

I went home this weekend...or rather last night. Once I got inside, upstairs (I forgot my keys), a total sense of relief and happiness swept over me. I was home. No one was near me, asking me for something, or just generally bugging me. All my stress left. Mom and Dad are in San Diego for the weekend as an anniversary thing. So I told them that I'd come home Saturday night. It was wonderful. I didn't have to worry about anything. I wanted to write in my journal or on here, but I told myself that I wasn't going to turn on the computer...the tv, yes, but the computer, no. Once again, this break is what I needed. I don't think that this is healthy...needing a break every week or so. I mean, most people don't have to retreat from society to keep functioning for another week. Ack! Oh well...

2002-01-27T23:33:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...I didn't know that you were in a coma. I'm glad I know. I'm even happier that he said that you are resonding to the nurse telling you to squeeze her hand and your family talking to you. Oh Why did this happen? I just saw you last Saturday. I know that's not a question that I or anyone else can answer, but I still had to ask it. She tells me that they are great doctors and will take care of you. I'm sure they are, but why do I have this dark dread in the back of my mind. You will get out of this! You will not die.

2002-01-25T17:20:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...My parents are going back to Brentwood this weekend. You remember Brentwood, right? I would like to go back, but I've got to work and do a assload of homework. Hum...what else is going on. Well, I'm looking through my archives just reading things here and there, so I might repost somethings that i really like.
Misty
Grandma's Letter about Misty, I wish I could find that...
New York 1
New York 2
New York 3
Shhh...I Had Fun Today
This is how Summer should be.
Like...maybe I'll finish reading this book...
July 4, 2001 Reflections
Deep Thoughts
Deep Thoughts 2
Fuck David
Take My Advice: Don't do this!
Fun at Rafters with Kelly
Bongo Bitch
He Peed in my closet!
Rain
September 11, 2001
My Parents
History of Colonial Latin America
Misty 2
SC on a TC trip
Food
Dulce de Leche memories
32 days
The Wind and The Snow

2002-01-24T23:15:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...My mom just called. She said taht Ann Marie L. was just in a major car crash while on her way home. She was driving home form Elon College (near Raliegh) for the weekend and hydroplaned (i think). She hit the ditch, over compensated, went toward the other side of the road, a jeep hit her passenger side while going 60. he took her to the local hospital. she's now going to or is at carolina's medical center in charlotte. she can't breathe because she has a collapsed lung, a bruised lung, and a bruised kidney. her fmaily is down there, her boyfriend and his family is down there, her best friend forever and her grandma are down there. all of boone knows--it spread like wildfire. shes a wonderful young woman. she's a freshman, loves to dance, and loves Jesus with all her heart. i'm sure that she'll be ok, but still...there's a huge part of me that is so completely worried and scared for her. More later...

2002-01-22T20:37:00.000-05:00

You are most like Arwen. Calm and reserved, you are not given to sudden outbursts. You conduct yourself with dignity...most of the time. The rest of the time you cut loose are are totally cool. You don't really think of yourself as popular, but plenty of people like you. You are not given to needless flirting. The right person will come along some day, and you are content to wait.

What LoTR Character Are You?

2002-01-19T02:03:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...Wednesday I was walking to class and it was pretty windy and blue skies. It was gorgeous. I listened to the wind blowing through the gigantic pine trees that shade the library. Five feet above the ground it was breezy, but at a hundred feet it was a beautiful thing. The sound of pine needles rustling together, moved by such a omnipresent force, something that we can only imagine.

Tonight I walked down to meet a friend. While we were talking, it started to sleet. For five minutes we could only hear it as faint undertones to the usual din of campus. Then it came through the pine trees, down past the street lights, down to the dry earth. We stood out there for a few more minutes talking about nothing. I walked back up the hill and sat in the overhang watching, listening, thinking, eyes closed, taking everything in. A car drove up the street and illuminated the swiftly falling snowflakes blown toward me by the wind. Changing directions every minute or so, it was stunning. Beauty is all around us. We just have to open our eyes and see it.

2002-01-15T16:50:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...Becky's away message definitly describes my day:
and out of the chaos, a voice spoke:
"smile and be happy, for it can always be worse."
and i smiled, and i was happy, and it did get worse.
This morning I trained a new girl at work from 8-10 am, which means that I woke up at 7:40 am, probably the earliest I will be waking up this entire semester, just so I could make $12.
I ate breakfast with my friend Nathan who I haven't seen since last semester. It was really nice, but then I only had 15 minutes to take a shower and get ready before I had to be back at the Student Union for a contact table.
I finally got to the Union 10 minutes late, but whatever. I sat at the table with Karen until 12:15 when I realized that I had to make more copies of the MLK Challenge registration form and flyers. So I started running to the CAP building at 12:26pm.
12:29 I arrived to class and stayed there until 12:45--time to read the same syllabus from last semester for Astronomy. Whoop-dee-doo.
Around 2ish I sat on my couch to read my Geographic Perspectives on Human Behavior book for class tomorrow and then the phone rang. Just as I was starting to relax.
The phone call was to inform me that I have been accepted into the PEAKS program, and that the meetings will be Thursdays 5-6:30 and a retreat next weekend (not this one coming up but the next one). Great! Except that I work Thursdays 4-7 and I was planning on going somewhere that weekend. Bueno.
I threw on my shoes and went to the Student Union to see who was working when and if they want to switch shifts with me. Nobody has called me back yet. Damnit.
Then I was about to crawl into bed for an hour and a half nap, but I decided to call my sister and nag her about returning my clothes. Yeah, my Mom, Heather, and I talked for 45 minutes.
Back to that nap...didn't happen. That's why I'm sitting here bitching about the day. And I'm not done...I'll be back after my two meetings to fill in the rest of the day and the good parts--yes, there were some great parts! Later.

2002-01-15T13:59:00.000-05:00

You know who you are, both the good and the bad, and you know how to have fun... unfortunately, that sometimes gets you into trouble.

2002-01-11T00:10:00.000-05:00

Blogger Code: B4 d t k s+ u- f i- o++ x e+ l+ c-
Geek Code: GO d- s:+ a--- C++ U? P? L? E? W++ N- o? K- w+ O? M-- V PS+++(PS) PE- Y-- PGP- t+@ !5 X+@ R- tv+ b+ !Dl !D G e(e++) h!@ r x+

2002-01-04T02:00:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...I'm ready to go back to school. I don't want to start classes again, but I want to see my friends again, be on my own computer, see my knick-knacks, walk around campus...oh well. The dorms open on Wednesday, so I'll do some of those things then, but until then I just want to sleep. I've been getting at least 8 hours of sleep and usually 12 every night I'm home, which is wonderful, but what my family doesn't realize is that I am only tricking my poor body for a short while before classes and all my shit starts again. Well, what am I doing up so late? I'm going to bed.

2002-01-03T03:09:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...I don't really know where to begin this one, but you'll eventually get the jist of whatever I'm attempting to say.

You Can't Go Home Again
Shhh! I had fun today!

2001-12-30T12:45:00.000-05:00

So yeah...I'm back! Aren't you lucky??

2001-12-22T23:37:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...Interim Leader in Argentina Faces Unpalatable Choices
and Saa to Be Argentina's 3rd President My argentine family emailed me back today! I'll put up a picture of them next year when I can. But right now, I'm going to finish my chores and go to bed because tomorrow we're going to Rochester to visit my Grandma for Christmas!

Whatever religion or idea you believe in, have a wonderful rest of 2001.
Talk to y'all in a while, crocodile!

2001-12-21T00:04:00.001-05:00

So Yeah...Argentine Leader Quits as Economy Begins a Free Fall New York Times...
La Opinion Pergamino's Daily...I was there, in front of that store. This sucks damnit!

2001-12-21T00:04:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...Dude, I love winter break! I mean 32 days without any stress of going to class, studying for that test, getting to work on time or not too late, running to the next meeting like a decapitated chicken...all I have to do is sleep, eat a little, clean up after myself, and...uh...I don't think there's anything else actually. Yes sir! This is the life. You have to understand though, that I have been going to school (every semester that classes are offered) since I graduated high school. That is 18 months of classes. Yeah, I think my laziness is justified.

So I called my friend Elizabeth up tonight to see what she was up to. Of course nothing. So she and I went to the Skate World out in Vilas and had a wonderful time! She had never been rollar, inline, or ice skating before, and I've had my history with the rollar rinks of Brentwood, so we knew that it would be an interesting evening. There were maybe a dozen people there, who all knew how to skate since birth. I had two little 6 year-olds fly past me and ask if I knew how to skate. Well munchkin, I haven't fallen yet and I'm getting around the rink aren't I? Yes, I know how to skate...a little. See, when I was little, the big thing to do for your birthday was to have a party at the roller rink in town. So I would go to some girl's party who I really didn't know that well or who I really didn't like, give her a present, and skate for a while. I hated it! I remember this one time when my Dad and I were skating and I fell and he ran over my hand. Yeah, that wasn't as much fun as a barrel of monkeys. Two, maybe three years ago my church youth group went out to the Skate World one evening. I went with them just for the hell of it, and actually learned how to skate! That is, until they switched the direction of travel. Oh well. So tonight in front of these strangers (luckily) Elizabeth and I learned how to skate, again. We had a wonderful time. Finally around 9:00pm most everyone left and it was just two kids, us, and some middle-aged guy skating to his own beat. I figured out how to go faster than 1 mile an hour and how to make cool turns around the short end of the rink. Now, I just want to learn how to lift up my left leg and really skate. Maybe in next semester.

2001-12-20T02:06:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...Well, the recession has turned into a depression complete with food riots all over Buenos Aires on Wednesday. Here are a few different newspapers from here and in Argentina.
New York Times
Washington Post
Bunos Aires Herald
El Clarin

I hope my family (my host family from when I was there) is ok. Have I ever told you about them? I don't think so. My junior year at Watauga High School I joined a club called the American Field Service (AFS). The worldwide organization sends students to other countries for a summer, semester or year to live with a host family and to go to school there. That year we had 2 or 3 students from abroad at my school. At one of the meetings the advisor told everyone that nobody had signed up to go anywhere for the next year and that applications were still open. One night at dinner I asked my parents the big question--can i go to Argentina for the summer? We talked about it for a long time, and I had already done some research so they couldn't shoot down my dreams too quickly. So we went through the application process, the interviews, the waiting and waiting and waiting...and I finally got the packet in the mail with all of my host family's information. (It took so long because I could not be in a house with cats or smokers and most everybody in Argentina chain smokes.) That summer my sister went to Wyoming with ASU for a class; my dad went to Harvard for a few classes in Human Resources (I think); and I went to Argentina. My mom and I drove to Charlotte to the airport very early one morning and sat waiting for the plane. As I walked away from her onto the ramp, my heart fluttered and I started to cry. I was leaving everything I had ever known and was going somewhere 12 hours away where I didn't know anybody. On the plane I sat next to a woman and her son, who were going on a Disney cruise for a family reunion. She and I talked the entire way to Miami and wished me luck when I saw an Areolineas Argentinas plane in the runway.

After two days of the long and pointless orientation in Miami, we set off for the unknown. Then we had another 3 days of orientation in a town outside Buenos Aires; we stayed in a community "hostel" that the AFS people thought would shelter us from culture shock. Wrong. Everything was different. Nothing could have shielded me from culture shock. Finally, Erika, who was going to the same city, and I boared a Greyhound-type bus to Pergamino, our home for the next 6 weeks. The bus system was so confusing with all the different stops and people, but with a little help from some strangers we made it. When we got off in Pergamino, our host families were waiting for us. It was wonderful! I was warmly embraced by five people and welcomed into their home.

From that night on, I felt like one of them. Adrian, Maria Luisa, Marilina, Valentina, and Lucia.
Adrian always made sure that I was safe and happy. He took me to his office and let me email home whenever I wanted. Maria Luisa let me help her in the kitchen preparing the empanadas--my favorite food. She also talked so slowly for me so I might have a chance of understanding something. Marilina took me out every Friday to the club. She helped me at school and gave me a great group of friends to hang out with. Valentina shared her room with me and teased me about my horrible Spanglish. I joined her theater group for a few weeks and did some cool improvisational pieces with them. Lucia let me play with her out on the back patio when it was nice out. We had so much fun tossing the ball or playing with her dolls. I taught her the English numbers and colors. Pablo was the first person to talk to me on my first day at school. He sang the Beatle's "Yesterday". He walked me to my house and danced with me at the disco.
Oh there are so many other people that touched my life in those short 6 weeks. I hope each and everyone of them has food and shelter, love and hope. I want to go back there so bad, but I know that I can't right now. Someday though, someday.

That morning that I left, I once again rode away on the bus crying because of the amazing time I had and the love that I felt. I boarded the plane to Miami with a heavy heart, but when I arrived at customs at 6:45am and the agent smiled and said, "Boone. Is that like Daniel Boone?" I had to smile and be glad to be back. Stepping off the ramp in Charlotte and seeing my Mom again made my heart beat out my chest. Nothing, I don't think, will come close to that feeling of happiness to be home. My Mom, my Dad, and I drove back up the mountain and talked forever. I ate peanut butter again on the drive home. Man, that stuff never tasted so good.

Last week as the semester was winding down with exams, my roommate, Erin, was eating some canned peaches. She offered me some, but I turned them down, remembering a time when I ate fresh peaches with dulce de leche. Ah, the memories.

2001-12-19T00:21:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...I'm talking with my two good friends from Argentina! This has made my night! Oh my gosh!!!

2001-12-17T00:48:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...I just bought my gift for my person in the Secret Santa thing. What fun this is! Turns out that he lives in the same city that I was born and lived in for 5 years! I'm going there next week!! Very wierd...Anyway, I just checked my Wish List and my Secret Santa has already bought my gift for me!! Hehehehe... (You know--YOU can go there and be my Secret Santa also if you want!! hint hint hint)

Sigh...Anyways...All the parties are over for now. We had a wondeful time this afternoon entertaining and chatting with so many people who came over for the open house. Tomorrow is another relaxing day at home with my sister and Grandma. Well, I think I'm going to hit the sack after a long busy day...

2001-12-16T00:18:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...My sister graduated from Appalachian State University today with a Bachelor of Science in Recreation Managment. Wow! What a wonderful day this has been!! Tomorrow (Sunday) we are having a Winter Holiday Open House and mini-Graduation Party! 50 people, 11 different types of cookies, 2 Christmas trees, a pianist playing for us...deedily-deedily-doooo.

Sigh...Anyways...Erin, I did get into Coffey tonight! I got so much stuff that I forgot before. To hell with Amy and Anna, I'm still going to try to remember to call housing on Monday and complain about them!

Wahoo! All my grades are finally up! Considering the amount of work that I put into some of my classes versus how I was doing in them before the final, I did really well! Ok, well, I want to brag because this was by far the hardest semester I've had.
Geography of Latin America A
Treble Choir A
Astronomy A-
History of Colonial Latin America A-
Intensive Grammer Review for Spanish B-
Open Water SCUBA Diving S
So aren't you happy for me?!?! Well, what are you waiting for? TELL ME!

Goodnight everyone, sweet dreams!

2001-12-14T23:53:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...Coca-Cola Consumption in Mexico...very sad article from AccessAtlanta.com via Becky. But then, I read this (the post about the world, not about sex) and thought that this was one of the most beautiful and true statements I have heard in a while.

On to other matters...my good friend Jonny is helping me with my archives because I tried something new and I don't know what I did...sounds like me wouldn't ya say? Ah, such is life.

2001-12-10T14:23:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...My current playlist.

My Wishlist.

2001-12-10T00:36:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...What a great few days I've had (besides all the horrible exams and studying that I won't bore you with again).

Damn, now that I start writing I really don't feel like writing anything...
It's just nice to have warm-fuzzies in my head.

2001-12-05T20:53:00.000-05:00

If I were a work of art, I would be Heironymous Bosch's Garden of Earthly Delights.

I am decadent and depraved. I have an eye for small details and love to fit in as much hedonistic pleasure as possible in everything I do. I buck authority and am not afraid to make a statement outside approved channels.

Which work of art would you be? The Art Test

2001-11-28T14:38:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...My 48 hour away message vs. what really happened (or what will happen):

geography project-now to 6am (library, computer lab) 11:30pm Tuesday Library to 4:30am Wednesday Computer Lab
nap/shower-6 to 7 5-6:30am nap
work-7 to 9:45
geography project due-10 to 11 barely coherent notes taken while forcing my eyes to stay open
history-11 to 12 a little more awake after a nasty Mountain Dew
choir-12 to 1 no energy or desire to sing but I did anyway
turtoring-2 to 3 cancelled my tutoring so I could have some 'me' time
meeting?-3:15 to 4 about contracting an honors course so I can graduate with honors
impact-4 to 5 hopefully interesting
info desk meeting-5 to 6:30 free pizza is always nice although that's what I've had for dinner 2 nights in a row now, maybe Dee will make it short, yeah right
nap?-6:45 to ? damn I need a nap
study for astronomy-sometime I have to do well on this test
nap?-maybe next week ...

ah! the insanity of an overcommitted student...

2001-11-25T02:05:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...I know I haven't posted in a while, but I'm on my Thanksgiving vacation! Wahoo! Yes it's nice to be out of the hustle and bustle of school, but I really would like to get back there soon--tomorrow. I've been working on a lot of my homework these past two days and I'm actually making a good dent in it. I still have all my history to read and do, half of my spanish take home test, some of my geography bibilography project, and my astronomy test to study for, but I think (ha ha ha) that I might make it, that is, without stress too much and losing my mind in the process. You can be the judge of that.

Sigh...Anyways...So it started yesterday evening. It hasn't stopped yet, and I don't really know when it will. In one very real sense this is not at all a bad thing, but in another way it is an inconvience. We really need it because we haven't had any of it in so long. Yes, that's a nice thing, but still... What is it you ask.
Rain! North Carolina has not seen rain in 2 months! We've had a fire ban across the state and some places have a water ban in effect. But now, at least Boone and the High Country, we are getting lots of rain and wind. And of course I didn't bring my raincoat home with me. Silly silly me. This is good. I love rain. I love wind. Preferably not at the same time, but I'll take what I can get.

Sigh...Anyways...I've been reading my Robert Frost Collection of Poems, Prose, and Plays book a lot since the Leonid shower. Isn't this poem gorgeous?!

On Looking Up by Chance at the Constellations
You'll wait a long, long time for anything much
To happen in heaven beyond the floats of cloud
And the Northern Lights that run like tingling nerves.
The sun and moon get corssed, but they never touch,
Nor strike out fire from each other, nor crash out loud.
The planets seem to interfere in their curves,
But nothing ever happens, no harm is done.
We may as well go patiently on with our life,
And look elsewhere than to the stars and moon and sun
For the shocks and changes we need to keep us sane.
It is true the longest drougth will end in rain,
The longest peace in China will end in strife.
Still it wouldn't reward the watcher to stay awake
In hopes of seeing the calm of heaven break
On his particular time and personal sight.
That calm seems certainly safe to last tonight.

Yeah. I really love Robert Frost's poetry. I'm working on memorizing a few others just because I like them. Speaking of memorization, I think I'm going to memorize Silvio Rodriguez's Unicornio for extra credit for Spanish, I sure do need it. So here it is, in both Spanish and English.

Mi unicornio azul ayer se me perdió.
Pastando lo dejé y desapareció.
Cualquier información bien la voy a pagar.
Las flores que dejó
no me han querido hablar.
Mi unicornio azul ayer se me perdió,
no sé si se me fue, no sé si extravió,
y yo no tengo más que un unicornio azul.
Si alguien sabe de él, le ruego información.
Cien mil o un millón, yo pagaré.
Mi unicornio azul se me ha perdido ayer,
se fue.
Mi unicornio y yo hicimos amistad,
un poco con amor, un poco con verdad.
Con su cuerno de añil pescaba una canción,
saberla compartir era su vocación.
Mi unicornio azul ayer se me perdió,
y puede parecer acaso una obsesión,
pero no tengo más que un unicornio azul
y aunque tuviera dos yo sólo quiero aquel.
Cualquier información, la pagaré.
Mi unicornio azul se me ha perdido ayer,
se fue.

My blue unicorn, I lost it yesterday.
I left it grazing and it disappeared.
Any information, I will pay for it well.
The flowers that it left behind
don't want to talk to me.
My blue unicorn, I lost it yesterday,
I don't know if it left me, or if it got lost,
and I don't have but one blue unicorn.
If anyone's got any news, I beg to hear them.
A hundred thousand or a million, I will pay.
My blue unicorn, I lost it yesterday,
it went away.
My unicorn and I became friends,
a little bit with love, a little bit with truth.
With its indigo horn it was fishing for a song
knowing how to share it was its calling.
My blue unicorn, I lost it yesterday,
and it may seem perhaps like an obsession
but I don't have but one blue unicorn
and even if I had two I only wanted that one.
Any information, I will pay for it,
My blue unicorn, I lost it yesterday,

2001-11-19T12:02:00.000-05:00

Maybe, it doesn't really matter any more

2001-11-17T22:01:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...Whoa! I've been having the weirdest dreams lately. And of course i don't remeber them until someone says something or I read something. How interesting the subconcious is--it can surface when we are the most vunerable and show us what we are really thinking about but we just push it back further and further.

2001-11-16T09:35:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...What a great Friday this is! After waking up from a very real nightmare and realizing it was just a dream, I called up my Dad down the hill and asked him if he wanted to go to Stick Boy Bread Company. Sure he said. So he and I spent my gift certificate on two everything muffins, two loaves of bread--garlic cheddar and apple cinnamon, and a spinach cheddar scone! I'm sitting here in my dark cool room listening to U2: The Best of 1980-1990, eating my fresh warm scone, drinking my green tea with lemon, and thinking how beautiful it's going to be today!

*Go placidly amid the noise and haste and remember what peace there may be in silence.
*As far as possible without surrender be on good terms with all persons.
*Keep interested in your career, however humble; it is a real possession in the changing fortunes of time.
*Beyone a wholesome discipline, be gentle with yourself.
*You are a child of the universe, no less than the trees and stars; you have a right to be here, And whether or not it is clear to you, no doubt the universe is unfolding as it should. Therefore be a peace with God, whatever you conceive Him to be, and whatever your labors and aspirations, in the noisy confusion of life keep peace with your soul.
*It is still a beautiful world.
*Be cheerful. Strive to be happy.

2001-11-15T00:09:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...
"Smile if it kills you. The physiology of smiling diffuses a lot of anger and angst. It makes your body and soul feel better." --Tom Peters--

2001-11-12T21:40:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...Not feeling well. Physically. Don't know what's up. Neither does Health Service (who have been very nice and helpful). I have been writing but just not on her (obviously). Just have to sort some things out. You know... Anyways, back to stupid spanish grammar...

2001-11-08T14:50:00.000-05:00

So Yeah…How does our mind change the taste of food from one time to another? Last night I went to the SGA/ACT Hunger Banquet and became one of millions of people in the world who eat rice and maybe a little water. The rice tasted good. Sometimes when rice is served with other foods in a nice meal it doesn’t taste as great as last night’s. Right now I’m eating some oatmeal for breakfast. It is good, but I think that I would like something else instead. I have that option. When I’m camping, however, oatmeal and watered-down hot cocoa never look so good. I guess it’s because of my frame of mind concerning the situation.

2001-11-06T11:07:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...Is it only Tuesday? Damn it's been a long day and it's only 11am. I've had so much on my mind and going on these past few weeks. I'm sorry to all my friends who I haven't had time to talk with lately. It's not you I promise. Please believe me. I have to go now...

2001-10-30T22:09:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...From my good friend Janey Rae Rominger's away message...

I've decided that Tuesdays are too long. They should be divided into two days: Tuday and Esday. That would be awesome. But in the meantime, I'm at volleyball.

2001-10-29T21:06:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...I am idealistic. I believe that we can feed and educate every human being on this earth. I believe we can house everyone in a warm safe shelter. I believe that we can instill a sense of hope and love in every human being.

2001-10-29T11:00:00.000-05:00

So Yeah...Nothing like going South Carolina when you really want to go to Boone...

2001-10-26T21:02:00.000-04:00

So Yeah...I'm in a funk. You know that feeling when you just keep pushing and giving, but it seems like nothing or very little is coming back? Yeah, that's where I am right now. This entire week has been one Monday after another. Even today, Friday, I was running around like a chicken with it's head cut off. So many things are going through my head. It's funny, I just read my last 50 posts and there's such a huge differences in them. You can see when I was really happy and enjoying life, and you can see when things just weren't going well. It's interesting. I don't know what I want to say here; I have things to talk about, but I don't really want to type them. Oh nevermind.

2001-10-26T00:34:00.000-04:00

So Yeah...Why is it that even if you never really liked someone for several years, that when something horrible happens to this person, that you really feel bad and sorry for them? It's human nature I guess. Caring. Sharing. Loving. Emotions common to all of humanity.
My heart and thoughts go out to all who have recently lost a loved one.

No man is an island, entire of itself; every man is a piece of the continent, a part of the main. If a clod be washed away by the sea, Europe is the less, as well as if a promentory were, as well as if a manor of thy friend's or of thine own were. Any man's death dimishes me because I am involved in mankind, and therefore never send to know for whom the bell tolls; it tolls for thee. --John Donne--

2001-10-22T13:25:00.000-04:00

So Yeah...Have you ever really thought that you saw someone that you know and who you really wanted to see, and sat down and made conversation with this person still thinking that he is someone else, but he says something that makes you realize that he's not the person you thought he was, but rather some other guy that you knew from last year?!?!?! Yeah...

2001-10-20T00:26:00.000-04:00

So Yeah...Dude, Jonny! What's up? Where are you? Call me at my dorm after Sunday night if you can...I'm here at home until then, but I'm in and out all the time. I hope everything's alright...

2001-10-17T17:47:00.000-04:00

So Yeah...It's 5:40pm Wednesday October 17th. Everyone has gone home for fall break and I'm still here...although I really can't complain as home is 7 minutes away. But still, I want to get out of this room! I was hoping not to come back on campus for the next four days, but of course something happened and I have to now. The lip sync tape was due today at 5pm in the JET Building. I still haven't turned ours in...why you ask...well, many people in my hall do not care this year and I've had a hard time getting a few people to help me put the show together. Last night four of us got a great playlist together, and today we were going to make a tape of it. But the CD with the entire songs skips and repeats itself randomly so we can't record anything off of that CD. So I am going to manually mix the tape tonight at home (oh my this'll be interesting) and then tomorrow I have to drop it off at CRSA sometime. Damnit I do not want to come back on campus until either late Sunday night or super early Monday morning before work. Well enough of my bitching...I'm going home (hopefully) in 20 minutes when Dad gets out of his meeting and we pack the van with all my crap. I might post from home, but don't count on it.

2001-10-15T20:45:00.000-04:00

So Yeah...Heartache--sorrow, sadness, misery, despondency--the physical feeling of the heart hurting. Two definitions for a compound word.
In the past two weeks I've experienced both definitions of the word in relation to the same event. Last week, three of my friends and I went to Price Lake campgrounds to watch the meteor shower and to get away from campus. While we were just sitting around at the picnic table somehow we got talking about our dogs, their lives, our lives, and their deaths. As Jeremy was talking about his few-month-old Golden Retriever puppy and how he died within two days, all I could remember was Misty and tears came to my eyes. So we talked about her for a while and I showed them a picture I had with me in my journal. It was then that I realized that this December 3rd will be the third year since she died. I hadn't thought about it until then and it made me sad but I was ok.
Today at a pizza social we got talking about pets--cats, fish, and a few dogs--and how they died. Once again, I thought of Misty. This time I didn't get quite as teary-eyed, possibly because people could see me this time, but my heart ached. The memory of my dog's life, not just her death, made my heart ache because I knew that she wasn't going to jump off the couch and greet me when I go home on Wednesday for fall break. I know that I will never be able to forget Misty because we had so much fun together; I know that my heart will always ache for her.

Misty three years ago at Bass Lake

2001-10-14T21:43:00.000-04:00

So Yeah..I know it's been a while since I've posted anything good here, but I've been busy with one thing or another. So let's see...last week was busy and boring...Friday morning was nice... 8^) ...this weekend was fun...I didn't really do anything but sleep and, well, sleep. My friend Kelly was here this weekend on her fall break so she and I went to the Drag Show last night. It was hilarious. While there, my friend Amanda came over to say hi...Amanda and I worked together this summer but she's already graduated and lives in Greensboro (she hates it there). So Amanda and I went to Macado's (Kelly had to go home) and ate dinner, and then we went in search of a party where my friend's band, Lady Love Black, was playing. We never found the party, but we did find this kickass enormous party off 194. Oh well. I was kinda bummed that we couldn't find the band, but I had a good time hanging out with Amanda. Today I just slept, read, and played around on the computer until 4 o'clock. Tonight was, of course, meeting and astronomy lab (an indoor one = boring as all get out). Right now I'm just waiting for my friend from high school, Heather, to come over so we can chill. Well, I think that's about all for this weekend...

2001-10-12T11:41:00.000-04:00

So Yeah...SCORE ONE FOR LINDSAY ON THE STALKER CHART!!!!! HELL YA!

2001-10-08T16:36:00.000-04:00

explicit lyrics below, don't say i didn't warn you...

untouchable face
ani difranco

think i'm going for a walk now
i feel a little unsteady
i don't want noone to follow me
except maybe you

i could make you happy, you know
if you weren't already
i could do a lot of things
and i do

tell you the truth i prefer the worst of you
too bad you had to have a better half
she's not really my type
but i think you two are forever
and i hate to say it but you're perfect together

so fuck you
and your untouchable face
fuck you
for existing in the first place
and who am i
that i should be vying for your touch
who am i
bet you can't even tell me that much

2:30 in the morning
my gas tank will be empty soon
neon sign on the horizon
rubbing elbows with the moon
safe haven of the sleepless
where the deep fryer's always on
radio is counting down the top 20 country songs

out on the porch the fly strip is
waving like a flag in the wind
you know i really don't look forward
to seeing you again soon.

you look like a photograph of yourself
taken from far far away
i won't know what to do
i won't know what to say

so fuck you...

see you and i'm so perplexed
what was i thinking
what will i think of next
where can i hide
in the back room there's a lamp
that hangs over the pool table
and when the fan is on it swings
gently side to side
there's a changing constellation
of balls as we are playing
i see orion and say nothing
the only thing i can think of saying

is fuck you...

2001-10-05T22:15:00.000-04:00

So Yeah...I'm feeling much better today. So onward to those things I mentioned before...

This past weekend my friend Jonny came down to visit me. He currently lives in Buffalo, New York, but I think he might be moving soon...change is good. He came Thursday and left Monday. The weekend was packed with things to do--Latino Dance, Steely Pan Drum Band, Gillian Welch, Parent's Weekend, Treble Choir, not to mention King Street, Monty Python and the Holy Grail (I saw it for the first time), and pinball/air hockey. I had a wonderful time and I think he did also. Very interesting concept to meet someone for the first time who you've known for nine months...

Monday in my History of Colonial Latin America class we got into a big "discussion" about what religion, mainly Christianity, meant to Hernan Cortes in the 16th century and what it means to us today in the 21st century. My professor told us that we have "total freedom of speech", thus meaning to feel free to say anything without fear of reproach. But, whenever someone said something that he didn't agree with, he immediatly said "I don't understand how this entire class can think this way" or basically tell us that we are wrong. I took notes during this, even though I don't think something like this will be on a test or an essay, but rather just because these ideas are something that I've been grappling with for a while.
During the Conquest of the New World, the "uncivilized" indigenous peoples were forcefully converted to Christianity by Cortes and his followers. Cortes did not see anything wrong with this because this is what he knew. However, the indians, who were very civilized (the Aztec Empire's knowledge of writing, math, astronomy, and architecture rivaled that of Europe said Cortes in a letter to Spain), had thier own religions and beliefs; they held notions of a "heaven" and a "hell", just like Christianity, but the conquistadors felt it necessary to destroy the indigenous beliefs and to enforce a new religion (taught in Latin by the way) to groups of people who could care less. To me, this is wrong. I say "is" because I believe that this forceful conversion to Christianity is still going on today. I do not understand what is wrong about a person believing in something differnet than another person. Each person is an individual and, thus, should have the freedom to choose a god, a heaven, and a hell. To one, this might mean nature is a god, a garden is heaven, and a building is hell. To another, this might mean a omnipresent, invisible entity is a god, perpetual peace and happiness are heaven, and strife and misery are hell. But whatever a person believes in no one should tell him or her that it is wrong and that the person should forget their previous beliefs only to accept new, foreign concepts. That is wrong. Human beings have the ability of language to form an infinite number of ideas about anything. Why should one group of people dominate others minds? A person should not ever have to hear that their ideas are wrong and invalid.

There's more I want to talk about, but I'll wait until later...

2001-10-04T22:55:00.000-04:00

So Yeah...Don't know what's going on, but I'm just not feeling very social and happy-go-lucky like I usually am...but if I don't get out of this room soon I'm going to go insane. I really am going to write some things that I've been thinking about, but not right now. Later.

2001-10-04T14:00:00.000-04:00

The Apple Barn

2001-09-28T19:01:00.000-04:00

So Yeah...MY SISTER FOUND A WEDDING DRESS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! It's gorgeous! Tell you about it when I stop shaking!

2001-09-27T11:47:00.000-04:00

So Yeah...Jonny's arriving today! Oh my! I'll post later when I have more time, the story of my life. Have a great day!

2001-09-24T18:50:00.000-04:00

So Yeah...Every season I look differently at the world. Springtime, I look up at the world noticing all the new flowers and trees. Summer I walk, still in awe, but now I know what is happening around me and sometimes I don't appreciate it all. Winter I bundle myself into layers of warm synthetic clothing to keep the bitter winds from getting to my warm skin, but when I can, I look up once more at the delicate trees' icy icing. Now, early autumn, I look down at the ground at the fallen leaves. I am walking on a carpet of color; it's gorgeous. The smell as I sluf through the dry, decaying leaves is acidic yet familiar and comforting. In a few days after this cold-snap, I will once again look up to the world and watch hundreds of drops of paint drift lazily out of a firey red sunset.

2001-09-18T23:04:00.000-04:00

things I find on the ground
No, this isn't my blog, but just someone's observations...just a clarification...

2001-09-17T00:55:00.000-04:00

So Yeah...What about all the homeless shelters, soup kitchens, and other nonprofit agencies in Manhatten, and all over NYC for that matter. A lot of places were already full and now there are so many more people to accomadate. I went to Manhatten this summer to learn about several organizations that help people. I was there. I walked by the towers and through the financial district. I wonder how the Chelsea Internation Hostel is...that's where we stayed. Thanks to Tin Man for continuing to write. It brings everything to me in North Carolina. Wow. I hope the shelters and kitchens are alright.

2001-09-16T16:23:00.000-04:00

So Yeah...My parents are home! Just thought I'd let you know!

2001-09-16T15:11:00.000-04:00

So Yeah...My parents are on their way home! Yesterday the flight that we thought that they were going to take was cancelled so no one here knew where they were. But last night as I was about to walk out the door, my Dad called and said that they were at a hotel in Raleigh! Somehow they made it back to North Carolina. They should be driving back to Boone right now. I want to go home and see them, but I have a meeting at 7 and then astronomy lab that I can't miss after that. So hopefully they'll get here soon so I can see them before this week starts.

2001-09-15T02:04:00.000-04:00

So Yeah...I think it just hit me: My parents are coming home tomorrow (or today)--Saturday! I don't think I have ever been this anxious to see them before. I was excited to see them when I got home after I was in Argentina, but this is different. This time they are the ones coming home under horrible circumstances. I'm worried, but I'm convincing myself that they will be home sometime late tonight. I'm going home to sleep tonight. Home. Security. Love. Warmth. Family. I am so lucky. I love you.

2001-09-15T01:46:00.000-04:00

So Yeah...I'll expand more on this tomorrow, but i want to get this in here before i go to sleep: Jonny.

2001-09-15T01:39:00.000-04:00

Motorcycle Driveby

Summer time and the wind is blowing, Outside in lower Chelsea.
And I don't know what I'm doing in this city,
The sun is always in my eyes,
It crashes through the windows, And I'm sleeping on the couch,
When I came to visit you,
That's when I knew that I could never have you,
I knew that before you did,
Still I'm the one who's stupid
And there's this burning, Like there's always been,
I've never been so alone, And I've never been so alive.

Visions of you on a motorcycle drive by,
The cigarette ash flies in your eyes, And you don't mind, you smile,
And say the world doesn't fit with you.
I don't believe you, You're so serene.
Careening through the universe, Your axis on a tilt, You're guiltless and free,
I hope you take a piece of me with you,
And there's things I'd like to do that you don't believe in,
I would like to build something, but you'd never see it happen
And there's this burning, Like there's always been,
I've never been so alone, And I've, I've never been so alive,

And there's this burning, Ah ha, There was this burning. Aye yie yie

Where's the soul. I want to know, New York City's evil.
The surface is everything, but I could never do that,
Someone would see through that.
And this is the last time, We'll be friends again.
And I'll get over you ,you'll wonder, Who I am.
And there's this burning, Just like there's always been,
I've never been so alone, alone, And I've, And I've, I've never been so alive, so alive

I go home to the coast. It starts to rain, I paddle out on the water alone,
Taste the salt and taste the pain. I'm not thinking of you again,
Summer dies and swells rise, The sun goes down in my eyes, See this rolling wave, Darkly coming to take me, Home,
And I never been so alone, And I've never been so alive.

Third Eye Blind

2001-09-14T19:45:00.000-04:00

So Yeah...

10 MILES FROM NOWHERE

How have you been
in the shape you were in
I'm suprised that you got where you're going

Who would believe
What a date you would be
If I knew I'd have thought about knowing

And in between now and the last time we met
I'd open the door if I met you again
And I swear that we'd be better/fair ever friends
From here until 10 miles from nowhere

What is that there
In your brown paper box
I can see that you kept all the memories we'd lost

I'd sworn it was you
Who was destined and gone
To the pressure of past undertakings

Had I had known that it might have been me
I might have returned a letter or three
Or gave you a call from the sanctuary

for the cracks in these walls tell time for a fee

From here until 10...
From now until 10...miles from nowhere

Five for Fighting

2001-09-14T00:10:00.000-04:00

So Yeah...do we really want to "bomb the hell outta them"? Who are they? Our government is only 90% sure that they know who it is. If we bomb them out of anger and fear, won't they bomb us? And then this will turn into a viscous cycle. Do we really want this to happen? I don't. Do we really want to go to war? Sure, I want some kind of justice, but killing more and more innocent and guilty people will not be the answer. I hope that each one of us thinks seriously about war and its consequences before jumping to conclusions and actions. Please think before you act and talk.

2001-09-11T21:49:00.000-04:00

So Yeah...but Jonny, you are doing something by staying in Buffalo. You're staying out of hell, out of rescue workers ways, you are doing a lot. Give blood...even if you pass out from giving, still give. It is eminent now.

2001-09-11T13:10:00.000-04:00

So Yeah...I woke up this morning at 8:45am EDT to the most beautiful blue skies, light breeze, sunny day; I felt good. Manhatten at 8:45am EDT woke up to hell.

2001-09-11T12:58:00.000-04:00

So Yeah...

Tuesday, September 11, 2001, 9:25am, Sandford Hall room 507, Appalachian State University
--...they think it was a terrorist attack...
--Sarah, what are you saying about terrorists?
--Two planes just crashed into the World Trade Center. There's a huge hole like 20 stories tall.
--Oh my gosh!
--...

9:35am
--Students, the world has changed as we know it. The World Trade Center, the Pentagon...We will probably bomb someone before the day is over. Your generation has not yet lived through a major war, this might be it. ...

The Plemmons Student Union:
Chairs are set up in front of any television, volume is turned up, no one wants to change the channel from CNN. Grandfather Mountain Ballroom is being set up with tables and chairs, the large screen projectors are lowered, students, professors, staff members trickle in and sit down to watch this happen. People are either silent or are telling each other what's been happening.

-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The United States of America has a Zero Tolerance Policy regarding terrorists and terrorist attacks. Since we don't believe that this is a domestic attack, then it must be a terrorist attack. Therefore, the USA government will probably declare war on someone, it will probably bomb someone, it will probably kill someone--innocent bystanders and the terrorists. More loss of life, more grief, more hatred, more, more, more...
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12:53pm
The Taliban news conference via videophone and a bad translator.

2001-09-10T01:06:00.000-04:00

So Yeah...Jonny is da man! He helped me get all these on here for y'all to see. So just click the thumbnail and magically a big version will pop up!

2001-09-07T01:50:00.000-04:00

So Yeah...I just got home from a freakin' awesome concert: The Dave Matthews Cover Band. They played at Legends--the only campus-owned night club in North Carolina (if not in the United States)! I'm so exhausted now, but the show was energizing and amazing! I just had to tell you that! I'm going to crash now...